Milner's Series is about two friends who correspond, occasionally. Milner is rather back woodsy, while his Pal is set in the corporate scene at least temporarily. Follow the process of life through their correspondence and you will see the simplicity and enjoyment they have as Pal leaves the corporate world, settles back, works at a new job, finds a lady friend and builds a home. While all of this is happening, Milner is becoming more educated through the friendship of his Pal as life takes it course. Milner's Series represents the back woods way of life along with a little humor to enhance it.
Letter 1-That Darned Fan
Dear Pal,
I must tell you about what happened today. I was sittin in the living room, when the wife called to question me about the exhaust fan at the kitchen cook range. So, I gets up and goes over to look at the blasted contraption. I gets over to the range, and she's a pointin' up under the blasted metal cover that hangs out over the stove. She's a tellin' me that she thinks the fan is goin backward and suckin the air in ‘stead of out. Well, I'll be danged. The darned things been in there for 17 years, n' all of a sudden it runs backward. Imagine that. So, I proceed to tell her that I really think it's ok. "Oh no, I must check it out," she says. So, I runs outside and see the flaps are standing wide open with air pushin' thru ‘em. I was so besides myself, I forgot all I had on was a pair of underwear, and it's 10 deg. below. I almost froze everything ‘cept my butt. So, I runs in and sure enough, she's still standin' by the range pointin and mumblin something about the fan not havin enough power to suck a flea off the dog. So, by now I'm about 3/4 torqued and I decided, if power is what she wants, power is what she'll have. So, I pull on my britches and dash out to the shop to get a new revolutionary high speed boost‘em up power converter, which I figure will make the fan spin pretty fast. I wired the darn thing in after gettin shocked about 20 times. I never could figure the wiring in this ole shack, so I just work with the wires hot. It gets the ole ticker back up in shape anyhow, but not that it does any good. So, finally I gets the fan spinnin' again. And wow, does it ever spin. The manual on the new gadget says a 250 r.p.m. fan can be boosted to 4500 r.p.m.! So, I cranked the dickens out of it. I turned that knob so far, I broke the dumb thing off. Well, that would have been ok, but you had to reverse the knob to shut it off, and now I couldn't. I still wasn't concerned, even though it sort of had a sound like a jet comin' in to land. We coulda learned to live with the whine, but by now the wife was a gettin' a little nervous. Sos, I just settles down for a moments and takes a rest. Well, moms goes over and finds the pieces to the knob that done broke off. She is a good woman, I tells ya. She just hands me the pieces wis some a that goods glue we gots and I knows what she means sos I just took to fixin it. Well, we finally got everythings back to normal and I admits the fan does run a little fast and has a slight whine but it works and it sure does suck the smoke outs when somethin' gets burned. Sos, anyhows it is fixed. We'll catch ya later. I gots to go. It seems like in this homesteadin' stuff, there is always somethin' to dos.
Your old buddy,
Milner